Oh, there you are!

Let's talk about us -- I think we're both kind of a big deal. I'll start:

What fills me up with light...

I love humans, honesty, and foods wrapped in bacon. I like dancing -- even in public and when there's no music. Rain on a tin roof is my slow jam, and I'm a favorite-song-on-repeat-truck-windows-down-singing-along kind of woman.

I'm psyched to wake up at five a.m. for precisely two things. Surfing is one of them [insert sexy-time smirking emoji].

I grew up in California, but I'm nearly positive it's impossible to stay angry after yelling, "Oh, bugger", so sometimes I swear in the Queen's English.

I have...

so much YES for:

friends who feel like family

surfing

rooibos masala chai

the ocean – in all her moods

public speaking

being a BAMF who don't take no shit from nobody

honest conversations

cold hard rain

my partner

laughing until you pee a little

feeling my feelings

jeans that make my ass look great

wilderness

poetry

literally all the NOPE for:

small talk

settling

coffee -- unless it's poured over ice cream

fighting to "be right"

limiting beliefs

playing "games" in relationships

bullshitting yourself happy

disguising discrimination as love

passive agressiveness

hangnails

Tinder (ask me why)

sunburns

should

May I pour you another?

Here's the truth about introducing yourself online: it's kind of awkward. My first attempts sounded like a Match profile. A friend suggested I elicit responses from my soul-people. I did. When I put them together, it read like a eulogy. I was very fondly remembered, just FYI. Like, people really missed me.

 

Basically I run into the same challenge you'd face: I'm a complex, nuanced, multi-faceted human. Trying to convey that in a two-dimensional space just doesn't quite... work. Here's a little more just to help us get started until we can meet in real life:

I'm fierce, and sassy, and playful, and I've got self love and gumption for dayyyys. Those things were always in me -- I just spent a whole bunch of years trying really hard, but not quite knowing how to get through all the bullshit piled on top of them. 

 

Finding my way home to myself was a process. There was a lot of dating people who didn't make sense for me. A lot of trying to put bandaids on wounds that just needed to breathe to be able to heal. A lot of apologizing to other people every time I got hurt. There was a lot of crying. A lot of reaching out to people who helped me develop the tools and habits I needed to plant and nurture self love. A lot of hard nights, showing up to the work of coming home.

It was worth it. Every minute of it.

Doing what I need to do to keep expanding into my truest, most grounded self and growing big love in my relationships lights my fire. Supporting other humans as they do the same stokes it into a blaze.

I'm passionate about helping humans build mountain-moving relationships with themselves and others. It thrills me to help couples make shifts that generate intimacy, fighting that feels good (it's a thing. promise), and giggly joy.

 

I spend a ton of time thinking about, reading about and researching relationships, communication, and emotions. I'm curious about the roles neuroscience, socialization, physiology, kinesiology, psychology and culture play in our experience of those three phenomena. I'm very serious about helping people build phenomenal, life-giving, love-filled relationships with themselves and others.

Ever since I could (sort of) hold a pencil, I've been a writer. I write to move, and grieve, and love, and question, and ache, and grow, and play. I write to open and expand. I write to release and invite and connect and remember to buy toilet paper. I write to attract. I write to survive and to heal and to ground myself. I write to find my way home. I write to find my way to myself. I write to comfort and encourage and remind. I write to teach.

I believe...

 

The quality of our relationships [including our relationships with our selves and with the natural world] directly influence the quality of our lives.

 

The way we communicate -- with our selves, with others, with the universe -- has a tremendous impact on our relationships. Like, effing huge.

Growing connected, vibrant relationships with wild places -- the oceans, the deserts, your own soul -- is healing and necessary.

 

It's never too late to learn how to come home to yourself and grow big love. 

With every fiber of my being, I believe that love is love and people are people. Regardless of race, sexuality, gender identity, degree of education, religion... you get the picture. People are people. Love is love. Every single one of us has the potential for the full spectrum of human emotion and human experience. Every single one of us is light, built from the ashes of stars.

I sometimes use words like: rad and gnarly. Also words like: perfunctory and intrinsically.

And just in case it's your thing: I'm a 7w6 ENFP Pisces Yang Earth Dragon who fascinates by being The Rockstar. I've got some thoughts about how these personality inventories can inform (and potentially limit) the ways we move through the world. If you get excited talking about stuff like that, hit me up. Let's get after it.

If I were the type of human who could be summed up on the "about" section of a website, I would be... Not a human. If you want to get to know each other a little better for real:

© 2018 by Alice TJ Coaching All Rights Reserved

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